A crying baby is an indicator, usually a sign of needing something like food, comfort, rest, or proximity. Most parents can read these cries and act accordingly. When crying is ongoing, excessive, or unbearable, though, it can be very stressful and upsetting for the caregivers. Knowing the possible causes of ongoing crying and how to deal with it is of major importance for the child’s health and parental sanity.
What is Persistent Crying?
Persistent crying is more than normal fussiness. Although definitions differ, it usually describes crying that:
- Lasts for a long time (sometimes hours).
- Occurs regularly, perhaps every day or several times a day.
- Appears unusually intense or distressed.
- Is hard or impossible to calm, even after needs are met.
- Occurs without a clear trigger.
In infancy, this sequence is usually “colic,” traditionally characterized by the “rule of threes”: crying over 3 hours a day, over 3 days a week, for over 3 weeks in an otherwise healthy infant. But persistent crying is not just confined to infants with the formal definition of colic and may be seen in toddlers and school-age children as well, and often for various reasons.
Potential Reasons for Chronic Crying
Establishing the cause is the starting point for treating the crying. Causes can vary from minor irritations to health problems.
1. Unmet Basic Needs (Frequently Ignored):
- Hunger/Dehydration: Particularly in babies who eat often.
- Soiled or Wet Diaper: Irritation of the skin can be extremely uncomfortable.
- Temperature: Too hot or too cold.
- Tiredness/Overstimulation: A baby or child who is overtired or overstimulated usually has a more difficult time, not an easier time, settling down. Insufficient sleep can lead to a cycle of fussiness.
2. Physical Discomfort or Pain:
- Gas or Indigestion: Widespread in infants as their digestive systems develop.
- Reflux (GER/GERD): Backwashing stomach acid can be painful. Silent reflux may not include visible spitting up but still is uncomfortable.
- Teething: Pain in the gums can lead to extreme irritability.
- Minor Injuries: A scratch, pinched finger, or hair tourniquet (hair wrapped around a finger or toe tightly) may result in subtle pain.
- Ear Infection: Tends to be painful, particularly when in a reclining position.
- Food Allergies or Intolerances: Milk, soy, eggs, or other ingredients in a mother’s diet while breastfeeding or in formula/solid foods may result in digestive discomfort and crying.
- Constipation: It is uncomfortable to pass stool.
- Urinary Tract Infection (UTI): Will result in fussing and discomfort when urinating.
- Other Illnesses: Any illness or infection will cause more crying.
3. Emotional and Developmental Factors:
- Need for Comfort/Closeness: Some children just have a greater need for being held and comforted.
- Separation Anxiety: Occurs in older infants and toddlers when a main caregiver departs.
- Frustration: Toddlers, in general, will cry out of frustration when they can’t articulate their needs or learn a new skill.
- Temperament: Some kids are just more sensitive, intense, or reactive by nature (“high-need” babies/children).
- Boredom or Under-stimulation: Less frequent as a cause of persistent crying, but under-stimulation can generate fussiness.
4. Environmental Factors:
- Loud Noises or Chaotic Environments: Overwhelming.
- Routine Changes: Travel, changing residence, or changing caregivers can be disturbing.
Coping Mechanisms for Parents and Caregivers
Handling a consistently crying child is tiring. Below are some mechanisms:
Rule out the Fundamentals: Always look for hunger, soiled diaper, temperature distress, or illness signs first.
Soften Techniques (particularly for infants)
- The 5 S’s (Dr. Harvey Karp): Swaddling, Side/Stomach position (while holding, never for sleep), Shushing (white noise), Swinging (gentle rhythmic motion), Sucking (pacifier, finger, or feeding).
- Holding and Cuddling: Skin-to-skin contact can be extremely soothing.
- Babywearing: Wearing a sling or baby carrier keeps baby close while your hands are free.
- Gentle Motion: Rocking, walking, or a car ride (safely secured in a car seat).
- Warm Bath: Can be soothing for some children.
- Massage: Soft infant massage.
Establish Routines: Regular, predictable schedules for feeding, naps, and bedtime can assist in regulating a child’s internal clock and prevent overtiredness.
Manage Stimulation: Make the environment calm and quiet if overstimulation is suspected. If boredom is likely, provide gentle, age-appropriate interaction.
Address Possible Medical Causes: If you are suspecting reflux, allergies, or other concerns, speak to your paediatrician. Recording crying times, feeding, bowel movements, and possible triggers can be useful.
Parental Self-Care: This is CRUCIAL.
- Take Breaks: Pass the baby off to a partner, family member, or friend, even for 15-20 minutes. Place the baby down in a safe location (such as a crib) and walk away if you are feeling overwhelmed. Never shake a baby.
- Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to call on your support system or hire help if available.
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s natural to feel frustrated, tired, or upset. Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
- Lower Expectations: Cleaning the house can wait. Prioritize taking care of your child and you.
- Rest When Possible: Lack of sleep worsens stress.
When to Seek Professional Help
Though most cases of chronic crying pass on their own, it is worth consulting a paediatrician or healthcare professional if:
- The crying is abrupt, extreme, or drastically at odds with the normal pattern.
- The child is fevered, has vomiting (particularly forceful or green/yellow), diarrhoea, dehydration signs (less wet diapers, sunken fontanelle, no tears), lethargy, or trouble breathing.
- You think the child has an injury or illness.
- The child isn’t feeding well or losing weight.
- The crying continues after 3-4 months of age (when colic tends to resolve) or appears to be excessive for their age.
- You are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, or unable to cope. Parental mental health is crucial.
- Do you have any intuition that something is seriously wrong? Trust your instincts.
Conclusion
Persistent crying in children is a challenging experience that tests parental patience and endurance limits. While often related to temporary phases like colic or unmet needs, it can sometimes signal an underlying issue requiring attention. By methodically looking for causes, using calming strategies, putting self-care first, and seeking professional assistance when necessary, parents can get through this challenging time and provide their child with the proper care and comfort. Keep in mind, you are not alone, and help is at hand.
